On my second day in Lombok, Kuta, a small Indonesian island I find myself writing this for you. If you feel like there is something off for you, this might find you well. Enjoy reading, dear.
When you feel like you need to cut yourself off from the world: Do it
Even though I am travelling with my friend around Lombok, I need time-off socials. Starting my day at café Bara with a hot matcha tea, reading Michael Singers The Surrender Experiment and writing this reel. I could cool off and reset after long days of exploring and traveling from Bali to Lombok, Kuta.
I realised I would have wished to stay in my favourite café milk again. The road here is noisy and loud. The music blasts a little too loud. And it is way too hot outside. While I practice a ton of energetic healing exercises daily and usually walk around with a huge smile on my face – something has shifted during the last week: I feel angry often, I feel the urge to be by myself more. I have more ideas for content and clients coming through. And I really want my own space to act upon those inspirations. Space with no schedule to be followed, no energy that flows onto small talk and day to day life with others. While at the same time I do enjoy just sitting next to my friend Theresa in the café and share breakfast. Alike, I would not have discovered my favourite café milk yesterday without her. She chose it.
The difference between depression and repressing your ideas
Am I getting depressed? Wanting to be alone. Wanting to write only. To create. To not be tied to other people’s schedules? Because I feel I need to take care of what wants to come out of me? To produce. To share. To gift my inside to the outside world?
Well, I guess no. Depression would be if I would repress all that wants to get out of me. And for a long while I have not been creating, sharing and posting what wants to come out of me – I overthought instead. “Well, it is not the type of content that relates to my biggest gift of energy healing. I cannot just post random videos of cafés and places. What about my healing work?” Those doubts were following every inspired content idea for my favourite cafés, architecture and lifestyle that came so naturally to me.
Funny me. Thinking about this, I see that all my healing clients come to me offline, not from marketing on social media. So why not post on social media what wants to get out and fuel my creative passion? My eye for beauty, the sweet-tooth heart for aesthetic cafés, nasty pastries and soul-warming hot drinks. I could live off it every day. Why repress it?
Thinking something should go one way is not the way to live a fulfilled life
Thinking something should go that one way is not the way to live a fulfilled life. Let whatever wants to come into your life flow into your life. Stop holding against it and resist the natural current life wants you to follow. All the ideas for content, for filming, for sharing, for writing. I am not holding against them any longer. I let them be. And it is vulnerable. Because this is what I truly love and what I am sharing with you is what truly represents me. It is my very being. And it is a funky space to live in. To trust that whatever you want to do is right. Whatever is meant to be will be. And that you don’t need to hold onto concepts and ideas of what things should (have) be(en) like.
Honey, this is your invitation to feel with me what you have been repressing and release it. Whatever next idea comes to you, whatever you feel moved to do: Do it. Go for it. Don’t question it.
To best place to be in life: Allow your intuition to be right
The best things that ever happened to me in my life, were the invitations and intuitions I accepted and acted upon. I didn’t resist unexpected miracles to flow into my life. I did not resist flying to America 2019 and having the best road trip of my life from New York all the way down to Florida. I did not resist releasing my long-term relationship of five and a half years. Only to find myself in the most beautiful, serenic islands of Thailand. Meeting soulmates, creating everlasting memories over the palm trees in rooftop bars and in yoga shalas by the ocean.
I did not resist doing my expensive yoga-teacher-training in Barcelona and learning six months to prepare it. Neither did I resist learning sound healing and spending thousands for my crystal singing bowls. I did not “press” against flying to New York to learn Spinal Attunement, the most life changing modality and healing tool I have ever experienced for myself and for the dear ones I work with. So, when something feels like it’s pulling you towards it – or something feels off and you make one bad experience after the other – just as if a channel is clogged – let it. And see how miracles will naturally find your way. Because you do not resist them.
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