While I listen to happiness is a butterfly from Lana Del Rey at 23:31 on a Saturday night this blog posts comes through me. It is not your daily The Muse post, it is not your Weekly Immersion. It is my heart wanting to share The Muse of all my work and my life.
Welcome to day 74 of my personal soul path. 08th of Feb. 2025
I never knew what it was like to be fully immersed with life. Fully immersed with everything there truly is. I knew what it is like to be in the here and now. To be The Muse. The butterfly. My second name Wanesa just represents that.
“Vanessa is a girl’s name of British origin, meaning “butterfly.” This title was brought to life poetically in 1712 when Anglo-Irish author Jonathan Swift needed a name for a character in a poem he was writing. Inspired by his lover Esther Vanhomrigh, he took the first syllables of her last and given names and combined them to coin the name Vanessa. With such a creative conception behind her name, this little girl may too embrace her artistic side, letting her imagination soar.“
– (the bump, 31st of Jan. 2025).
What does It mean to be The Muse of your life?
The Muse embodies the archetype of the woman no one is talking about. You might have read about “The Princess”, “The Sacred Slut”, “The Priestess”, “The Goddess”, “The Witch” and the list goes on.
While I found home in several jobs and I immersed into them, I outgrew places. I stopped doing jobs, because they sort of got boring. My potential was beyond. And yet in the next place I found myself in working – I was beyond. Every station in life was the pathway to The Muse within me. In fact she has always been there. I used to draw since I can think. I remember even drawing the school’s paintings for my older sister when I was four. Yes I loved, to sing, to dance, to draw and to sit in nature. I have always been open and yet there were times where I was The Muse. Gently and fairy-like watching out of the car window, being totally immersed with life – while everyone was talking in the car. And yes my family even used to ask me: “Are you okay? Is something wrong? You are not talking.”. Because yes I was also a very talkative person, being present, being loud, being me, being fun. And smart, and always participating in class, having the best grades. Easy going in flow, without much effort. And yes, this is a part of me – learning, indulging into the material, going deep, understanding, participating and interacting with the here and now.
And yet, after 27 years. I found a nicer way of participating in the here and now. By being The Muse of my own life. I used to search for “the perfect job, that would fulfill me”. Bring me freedom, time-wise and money-wise. A job where I could fulfill all my potential, enjoy the materia, the interaction with people. Help companies thrive and their employees have a better life. Consulting and coaching was the way I used to think. But then 2021 in Thailand – I discovered Jivamukti Yoga. Haha. Jiva = path to enlightenment, Mukti = individual soul. And only 14 months later I was the teacher. Teaching the yoga method with my yogis that gave me a feeling, an immersion with life that is beyond words. “When we chant Om together, I feel like with you there is a third sound I encounter with no one else”, a student once shared with me after the class. And there were the same yogis every single week, same came and some go. But on thing never went: the devotion and immersion for the teaching. During the moments I felt like I am not fully present or balanced – “connected’ – during my class. I thought “stop” in my head. “How grateful are you to be teaching that.”. And yes I was. But 40-60€ an hour is not something you make a great living out. Wait, what is a great living? I believe that this is completely different for every person. For me a great living is: Waking up to my slow mornings in the sun, in nature – best? Near the beach. I love luxurious interior, design, high quality. The moments I picked out something I like in the normal priced clothing stores it always turned out to be the most expensive piece. I had a hand for that.
But anyways, this is not about sharing every detail of my life with you and wondering in my head. This is about the life you truly desire. The life that makes you feel like The Muse.
So what is the life that makes you feel like The Muse? I am The Muse when the curls of my hair surround my face. My baby doll face is lined with a black eyeliner and slight rouge on my cheeks. My favorite underwear – nah I think this is called lingerie – on. I have to smile. And I enjoy my tea or cocoa in the sun. Best even be awake before sunrise. And yes I am a dreamer. I love being in the upper realms. I love emerging with the present moment. With the people in front of me. And this is how I am The Muse of my life. In the moments I immerse. Immerse with my task. With my work. With the person right in front of me. Even with myself.
And the people who are unhappy? Even the wealthy, the rich, the healthy, the one’s who don’t even have to work anymore and can do ANYTHING, they want? Yes, they are unhappy because they forgot how to live life like a Muse. Be a musing itself. You can only interact with life to the extent that you can interact with your inner world. If you constantly find yourself walking away from The Hurt Part, The Desire within you, the lightness and the freedom. You will miss the immersion you can have with life. And if there is one thing in life that I learned along to way. That saying things out loud was often a good quality of mine. Because holding yourself back will hold back a lot of life quality for you in the long run.
So tell me, what is your muse?
You will find your muse in the immersion with yourself. To let yourself finally be. To free yourself from old patterns and stories. To let go of the thought you should be any different than you are. To let things simply be. And when you let things be, a lot will change. You might find yourself changing the way you see yourself. You might find yourself change the way you interact with life. The way you communicate, set boundaries, choose different, think and feel different – and hell yes – even see different results in your life. But it comes all down to you to choose uncertain unknown miracles over certain misery. And the unknown will be scary, it will let your old personality die step by step. And where will you end up? You will eventually come to the point of living your True Identity. Your True Identity of being so you, so immersed with life. Of living The Muse.
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