During my Master studies we met every Wednesday. Every Wednesday to come together in our group of over 10 gurls. All psychologists to become. All drinking wine and having a gorgeously arranged cheese plate every Wednesday. To come together and watch trash TV. While I enjoy being part of a group, in togetherness (my top value is connectedness if you did not know), I did not enjoy drinking wine nor did I enjoy wasting my lifetime with trash TV. But that was what the group was doing.
Another group I was part of was a group of three small town gurls. They grew up together, lived together and had wonderful evenings cooking and playing board games together. I liked being part of that group. What I did not like? Watching movies all the time. They used to watch a lot of series and movies every single day. And yet, they still do.
Alcohol and TV shows is part of most of the group dynamics. Talking about their problems instead of changing them. This is what many people do. And yes sometimes I worry too. I tended to overthink a lot the moment I did not fully acknowledge that I do not want to finish my master’s degree in psychology and not even start the study after finishing my bachelor’s.
In deed, I wanted to explore the world. I saved my spot in the master’s program and wanted to wait for one entire year to start the studying. I wanted to explore the world. Different jobs. See where life is leading me. Something I have never fully done. Living in free flow. I was great in school. Started my bachelor studies straight after graduation. Did an amazing job at the university. My neuroclinical psychology professor Dr. Dipl. Psych. Martin Reuter did not want me to leave the university. He wanted me to join the master’s program at the university of Bonn. Yet, with a lot of appreciation for my decision, he could really understand that I wanted to study in Cologne with new perspectives on psychology. New classes, new study fields. I wanted to explore the world of digital media psychology and life coaching. Psychoanalysis and treating personality disorders was also pretty fun. I ended up writing my master thesis about the 3 basis psychological human needs according to Deci & Ryans self-determination theory. And how they are related to our well-being depending on how much justice and self-efficacy we perceive in this world.
Well turns out I just did the whole master’s degree with only a 3 months break in Thailand in early 2021. In fact, I did only start the master back in 2019 because my ex told me to at least visit one class because the girls there are all “so me”. With their Birkenstock sandals and yoga that they do. He went to the university’s secretary to matriculate me, because I was traveling through the US in summer 2019 right after I finished my bachelor’s degree. And so I did. I enrolled in two classes I found particularly interesting. Media and marketing psychology. How sex sells, how advertisements are made, what should be written on packaging and what pricing to use. As a consumer this is unlikely something you are aware of. You go into the supermarket and have no clue how everything is designed perfectly to mess around with your subconscious. My journey went on to work in an institute for morphological in-depth psychology market research. In other words: How to use the deepest insight of our human psyche to manipulate you in political campaigns, government decisions and packaging of products. All I can say is ‘gross’. Yes, I know it is important to – if you put in all the effort and money into products and campaigns – that it works. But how much are we being manipulated. How much of our conscious decision making is even available to us? However, I loved doing the in depth interviews and analysis. We even had some interesting studies on podcasts or how whole global markets in dentistry will change in the future. Even on how your trash will be collected and processed. The people who came to do the interviews with me were paid for their time in the evening. And for them? It felt like a therapy session. Finally someone who is eager to listen to their thoughts, feelings and opinions. I really loved working at that institute and they wanted to keep me after I finished studying. Yet, I was not willing to do another training for 2 years with them that I have to pay to work there. Where in this world are we, that we are studying for 6 years, working for free and paying companies to be able to work with them. Even though we are already doing the work of a specialist. Anyhow.
I knew I did not want to study anymore, yet I did because my ex encouraged me. End of the story was a little crisis that ended up with journaling daily (read about it in the daily Muse 10th of Feb. 2025). I should have listened to my gut feeling to not study straight away. Yet I did so. Was it good? Maybe, because I got interesting insights into human manipulation and some friends I could spend time with – watch trash TV and drink wine – while COVID hit. Was it bad? Maybe not because I discovered how important it is to acknowledge our inner voice. Did I get my time off studying and take opportunities to travel the world? Definitely. Would it have been better if I did it straight after my bachelors degree? I will never know.
This anecdote and antidote to marketing and life decisions should make you question how you spend your time. How consciously you are aware of what you spend your time with and what you buy. How do you decide? Does it come out of your inner knowing and is it in alignment with yourself? Or do you let the life’s course decide? Let yourself be drawn into other people’s unconscious behaviors and consumption?
Whether our life will turn out as it was supposed to be? Maybe. Maybe all paths lead us down to a point in life where we need to be. Sooner as long as you listen to your gut. Later the more you postpone decisions and conscious living. I can’t tell.
Do you believe that life has a predestined and right trajectory for you? Let’s discuss in the comments. However, I believe you always have the choice to choose different for yourself. You can live a life that feels good and right to you, as long as you listen to your gut. I don’t say it always has to be easy. But it is worth living it this way. But don’t forget the fun while doing all that feels right to you – because some decisions might be harder than you think.
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